'You'll stay with me?' questioned Harry. 'Until the very end,' answered James.

Someone recently asked me what my family is like. She's never met them, so she was curious. So I proceeded to tell her about my family, to explain something so vast as concisely as I could. I believe I was able to accomplish this. As I thought about the things I'd said, I realized that they were really some wonderful things that not every family can boast of. I decided I wanted to explain my family without having to do it so briefly, thus this post...

          My parents are divorced, but I've never considered my family "broken". I think the reason why is because we have too much love for that. Families where the parents are divorced are usually considered to be "broken," but that description has always seemed so far from the truth concerning my family, a group of people from which I've learned selflessness, physical and verbal affection, loyalty, and absolutely unconditional love. In what way is that "broken"?
          We are a family of strong personalities. This causes us to butt heads on a pretty regular basis. But in the end, we always end up apologizing because we know that we're more important to each other than our pride. We know that no matter how badly any of us screw up, we will always love and support each other. We'll always be there for each other.

This post is specifically about my parents, but I'll post about my brothers and sisters later.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
         
          My dad, Joel Sr., is your typical man's man. He loves and/or is good at hunting, fishing, chopping firewood, fixing things around the house, working on cars, buying and selling stocks, and watching and playing sports. He'll always tell you how it is. He doesn't beat around the bush, because that's a waste of everyone's time. He's got a deep, booming voice and his presence commands a room. Some might call him rough and tough, and he is. But he also has one of the biggest hearts I've ever had the honor of being loved by. Even though it comes very naturally to him to speak his mind, no matter what's on it, he has this way of wording the hard truths carefully and tenderly in a gentle, loving voice. I've known a lot of people in my life who aren't afraid to tell you how it is, but I've never met someone of this nature who's so considerate as to curb this nature and be sensitive to another's feelings. Growing up, whenever I'd go stay with my dad, he'd always do whatever I wanted to do the whole time. I look back now at the time when I was a child and think, "I can't believe he sat through hour after hour of Bambi and Aladdin and Matilda. I think, "I can't believe that day after day without fail, he stayed up all day with me after a graveyard shift." I think of all the times he took me to the store so I could load up on my favorite treats: salt and vinegar chips and astro-pops. I think of when he drove all the way from Montana to California to see me perform in my fifth-grade play. I think of all the phone calls and e-mails. I remember how much love and patience he showed when he had to get up at 3am to change the bedding I'd just wet. I think of more recent times like when he drove me back to my apartment in Rexburg, six hours away from his house, with almost no prior notice because I'd just lost my keys. And then had to drive 6 hours back. And didn't complain the tiniest bit, but just told me that he didn't mind at all and that this is the kind of thing he signed up for when he became a father. I think of the time he sat me down and talked to me about the kind of men I should date and the kind of man I should marry - someone kind, loving, and respectful. He told me about the kind of men I shouldn't date, and the kind of man I shouldn't marry - someone who is mean, disrespectful, or who is ever physically rough with me in any way, shape, or form.
          My father taught me, and continues to teach and show me, to love Heavenly Father and my Savior, to pray and stay close to Them, to put Them first, and to put my life in Their hands. I have a memory from when I was probably about twelve years old that's always stuck with me. My dad and I were driving somewhere, and he said to me, "Our lives are like a big ball of tangled-up string. When we hand that ball of string to God, He untangles it, fixes it all up." Because of that, I've always known that God is with me in my life and knows exactly how to help me have peace.
         My father taught me to respect my mother. He taught me to listen to what she says. My father has always spoken to me of my mother's wonderful traits, and pointed out how I've inherited them. He's talked me through some of the hardest times of my life with the utmost patience and compassion. He's always shown me that my opinions, my thoughts, my feelings, my words matter to him. He's built me up and told me again and again that he loves me with all of his heart and is proud of me. He's encouraged me to get a good education and make something beautiful of my life.
          I love my father with all my heart, and I've never doubted that he loves me with all of his.


          My mother is and always has been my best friend. My love for her runs so deep that I can't find where it begins, and could never find where it ends; for it is impossible to find an ending that doesn't exist. She is my ultimate comfort here on earth, the voice that soothes my soul in my most anguished moments. She is the net that catches me every. Single. Time. I fall. And I fall a lot. She is the comforting relief that comes to my mind when I've screwed up again: "Wait! It's gonna be okay! Mom will help me figure it out, I KNOW she will." She is the one who will never, ever judge me, no matter how dark my secret is. She is the one I still cry about when I think of the day I will have to say goodbye to her until the next life. She is the woman who I'm crying about now as I write this. Not sad tears; tears of overwhelming gratitude, of overwhelming love. She is the woman who has never let me down, who has never given me any reason to not trust her with anything. She is the woman who has stayed up so many nights with me while I cried over this or that, all the while knowing she had to be at work at 7 the next morning. The same work that she spent forty hours a week at while also going to school and raising four difficult kids. She is the woman who has faithfully attended church every Sunday, no matter the time constraints, the exhaustion, the trials and tribulations.
          My mother taught me to write things down so I don't forget them, whether it's an old memory or that assignment due in one week. She taught me that I can't love others until I love myself. She taught me to say my prayers every single night. My mother taught me how important it is to keep your room and house clean because it affects your level of happiness. She taught me to not be materialistic, that people are more important than things: "It's okay honey, you're not in trouble. Even if we can't get it to come out of the carpet. You're more important." She taught me that I don't need anyone or anything to give me confidence or security besides myself and my Heavenly Father. And these are only things she taught me through her words. What she taught me through her actions is another story:
          She taught me to work hard, whether it be for a job or for something personal like a home project. She taught me to be kind and charitable to every human being who walks this earth, whether they own a mansion or a cardboard box. She taught me to not be afraid to start a nice conversation with the stranger standing in front of me in line, because they probably have an interesting story to tell. She taught me to love and be fascinated by other cultures. She taught me to make a "bad" situation into a "good" or "fun" one: 
"We locked the keys out of the car?" -me
"Yeah, and Triple A won't be here for two hours. But let's look at it like an adventure! Like pioneer women! And look at all these fun stores we can shop in while we wait!" -Mama
She taught me to show physical affection often to those whom I love and care for, by showing me physical affection every chance she got.
Most importantly, she taught me how to be a good mother. She taught me how to be the most loving, understanding, fun, funny, uplifting, comforting, God-loving, responsible, selfless, affectionate mother anyone could ever be. She didn't (doesn't) do this through instruction, but through example. And this, that she has taught me to be a great mother, is perhaps what I'm most grateful for; that the children I will one day love with every fiber of my being, will know that I love them with every fiber of my being. Because I will follow my mother's example, and my mother's example never left me questioning her infinite love for me.